This lie was, perhaps, spread by terrorists to ruin my life.Īs a result I have decided to take the decidedly grumpy step of boycotting my graduation. Had I taken an adult degree such as BSc 'Biomedical chemistratic sciences, Law, Medicine and being-an-adult' then perhaps id be tripping the light fantastic into the city right now but I was also told that you should take a degree in something you like - I remember the term 'your area of interest' a lot. I would like a job but this degree will probably not be the thing that gets me one now every corner shop is a Uni and every 16 year old has inexplicably been bucking the Guardian's expectations of them as bulk buying hoodies and repping ASBO'S and - much more shit for me - cocientiously working their way up. I am in a debt which has proven to be both abstractly large and unreal and immediately threatening, both of which, I believe, stem from the fact that I have no job, no prospect of a job not even any job- esq plans. I have spent three years being given money, food and occasional care packages and am bricking it about 'the big wide world' so I'm not sure how I've been prepared for it.
Though I doubt I can be the only English Literature student at a 'top ten' Uni who would rather snuggle up with a 'Love it!' than get on down with some Shakespeare. People often think I am lying about the films I have seen, places I've been because I forget the who, what, where and hows of it all though never how much I love/despised the experience. This is partially due to the fact that I have no memory. I have books on my shelf that show all the signs of being read but, of which, i could not give you a vague synopsis. I have also learnt things that I have already forgotten. I am currently cramming for a German exam like a bulimic eyes up a cake stall - I'll get it all in there, have it when I need it but have no intention of feeling its effects in 24 hours. I learn things that I will forget in, oh, two weeks or so and I plan my life around that fact. I'm not entirely sure of the point of University. Ugh tell me about yours and one day wel laugh.
The monarchy, that funny noise that your vag makes if he fingers you too well with too many and everyone and anyone who doesn't fit as well as ourselves (what twats we are!!!!) why is the state of your dads redundancy, your sisters relationship with that muuuch older man or your mums raging eating disorder such an issue? If we cant use it as humour then surely it gets too intamate for even heart to hearts?Įverytime that I hear about a sisters botched abortion I cringe. But now- your own poverty merely makes you more Indie, the fact thy you used to be fat and a goth mereeely makes for more 'Friends' like moments, your secret love of Skins is a fact your bessies will take to their grave and your intolerance for MDMA is just hilarious, remember that time you shat in that guys bed? Threw up all over Saras new vintage tea dress? Performed a reenactment of 2g1c? Ha! Megalaughs!īut in a generation which'l (and I admit these are a list of my personal favourites) laugh at disability. Roy ChubbyFuckingArsehole Brown rolled them out before most of us were yet a deviant anamalistic twinkle in a black Now why is it that in the mix of trendy twenty-somethings no one wants to admit to the very real state of their family? Aunt Marthas alcoholism and Grandpas mild racism have been jokes of old.
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